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Real

by Lydia Loveless

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1.
Same To You 03:54
If I say another word it’ll be my last I can tell by the color of your face you’re mad I’ll have to take a few so I don’t talk back Well it’s gonna be one of those days Where if it’s the same to you that I’m gone If it’s the same to you I won’t stay long But I can’t move on when I’m five steps back And I guess we’re going out again By Texas I know I’ll be ready to crack That’s where I almost killed you but honey give me one more chance Then if it’s the same to you that I’m gone If it’s the same to you I don’t stay long If it’s the same to you that I’m gone If it’s the same to you I won’t stay Well is there nothing I could do to make you look at me that way again? I’m not gonna fall in love with you man but if that’s really it Could you just wave goodbye? If it’s the same to you that I’m gone If it’s the same to you I don’t stay long If it’s the same to you that I’m gone If it’s the same to you I don’t stay, then I wanna stay…
2.
Longer 03:56
Tired of me hanging around looking like I just lost a friend Well if I did you don’t know who, he goes to another school Around 11 am burned the breakfast again Well I don’t know what I was doing, something I just saw on TV It’s true I need to get a clue But give me just a little bit longer to get over you Sitting in the dark talking about my plans To anyone who can hear over this shitty Indianapolis band Well maybe I should move away, cuz I don’t know why I stay When it’s more than I can sustain, I want to wake up every day with you But I need to get a clue, it’s true But give me just a little bit longer to get over you
3.
What’s it gonna take for me to say It’s hard enough to find someone anyway And if I stay until the end I guess I’ll know what might’ve been It’s harder to take every day And I don’t like to do much anymore Food has lost the taste you had before More than ever I don’t want to listen to them talk Darling don’t you want to come and take a walk But if self-control is what you want I’d have to break all of my fingers off Because it’s harder to take every day And the feelings that I should’ve just ignored Now they’re just a step across the floor Where your mistress is pounding harder on the door But I guess you don’t want to see her anymore No more than ever
4.
Heaven 04:37
Here comes a beard on a cloud Something to say to the crowd He built a wall in between us “Knock it off” Here comes a guy Wearing no shoes Lord you can’t even die with nothing to lose And now he’s mad about a fit I threw When I met you I thought I had found belief And we could stay together But paradise is only for the weak man no one goes to heaven Well we’re at the mercy Of men’s fever dreams Every night he doesn’t visit me It doesn’t ever speak to she’s “I’m coming down there” And I thought it would be ok, but everything just happens Everything is an accident and no one goes to heaven When I see you at the gate, oh God it’s been forever But like a stranger you just turn away cuz no one goes to Heaven
5.
Out On Love 03:49
How could love like this exist Feels more perfect with every kiss Now you’re walking away I don’t want to miss Out on love How could someone like you be real I don’t know what heaven feels like But if I could get there then I hope you will too And if I could write to you then all I would say is I needed you almost every day I tried but I could not find the words to say I needed time How could love like this exist Feels more perfect with every kiss Now I’m walking away I guess I don’t understand Why someone like you would be cruel I don’t know what the truth is but You give me every reason to fall out of everlasting arms And if I could write to you then all I would say Is I miss you more every day I tried but I could n
6.
These January nights really make me hate my life And I wanna get into a fight But you already said you’re not gonna fall for that again this time You wanna paint your masterpiece But “Inspiration really doesn’t always come all that easy” I guess that’s why you’re always mad at me You wanna lock me in the kennel and then leave for Myrtle Beach at 5 Midwestern guys And after it gets dark you want to go look at the stars, Aw, you sure know the way to my heart honey You wanna make love, not fuck, in Schiller Park That’s how romantic you are, yeah. And tell me all about ’83 It was a long time ago, you can sure say that again to me All the lives lost to Natty Light in a tree You played Pyromania until she got down on her knees between your thighs Oh you midwestern guys . . .
7.
Bilbao 04:50
You take a walk I’d rather be lonely than ashamed Of all the girls who think they know your name Us dirty Italians are all the same No one but me knows you could never be replaced Marry me, there’s nowhere in the world that I would rather be You don’t even look up when the waves get ten feet tall You’re so disinterested trying to make a call Well I know who I am and I’ll be like that again If you only knew me now God if I knew you then Marry me there’s nowhere in the world that I would rather be You say goodnight Is gonna hurt like hell If you don’t say goodnight Then I guess it’s just as well that you don’t believe the way I feel If you don’t believe the way I feel Bury me, there’s nowhere in the world I would rather be Don’t wanna be lonely
8.
European 04:47
There’s a light on in your attic I can see it And it flashes for a dirty voyeur like me There’s a heartbeat on the air tonight I hear it Whispering beat beat beat What’s it gonna take for you to let me inside? I’m standing on the lawn and the grass is on fire And when I kissed you on the lips I was being European honey come on I just wanna right what’s been feeling so wrong If you don’t love me I can hide my feelings I just wanna get what I haven’t had in so long Tell you secrets in an alley in New Orleans let you read my palm right through your jeans Watch your lips move til I don’t know what the words mean Ain’t there some things you feel like you can only say to me Now what’s it gonna take for you to not be mad Look me in the eye and tell me that you’re still upset About when I kissed you on the lips I was being European honey Come on, I wanna grab before the moment’s gone You can’t kick me out while I’m still reeling And I just wanna give you what you haven’t had in so long I’ll take you places where they kiss just to say hi to ya And break your heart open just like a shell Cuz right now I’m so afraid of tomorrow There’s things I don’t wanna do with anyone else Like when I kissed you on the lips I was being European Honey come on I thought I was broken then you turned me on If you don’t want me now I guess you’ll beat it I just wanna give you what you haven’t had in so long
9.
Clumps 02:00
People tell me I could be addicted to romance Never getting over the excitement of a glance in two eyes Every other time I like to think I’m right Hope that I affected you and tore you up inside Must be why you turn away and never ask me why I cry and never sleep at night I need you on my side just not tonight All at once you say “It was fun but it must not be real because now you’re done” But so what if that’s all it was? Love turns into lust and milk turns into clumps So you don’t have to tell me everything I want to hear It only makes it harder for me every time my dear to say Bye “Everybody dies, I’ll see you on the other side” Oh my God, you made me feel alive.
10.
Real 04:13
I’m watching TV and I know I shouldn’t be Because it doesn’t compare to walking down your street Hanging off a live wire, I can’t believe you don’t see me And I know just how she feels Cuz I know just what you do Well, I know just how it feels When you make it seem real Now I’m in my room but I want to jump off the roof I’m just waiting for a boy who’s gonna beg me not to do it Oh, here he comes now, man He’s gonna take my shaky hand, well I know he’s no Peter Pan But I really need him to be now Cuz I know just how she feels I know just what you do Well I know just how it feels When you make it seem real Nothing will change, at least not as far as I can see When you hold my hand you don’t always have to wrench it out of me You could just hold my hand and if you wanna run away with me we can do that Cuz I know just how it’d feel, man I know exactly what I want to do I know just how I want to feel and every time, God, you made it so real

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released August 19, 2016

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Lydia Loveless Columbus, Ohio

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